When motivation goes…

There is nothing worse than losing your mojo.

I’m officially here. I’ve lost 3lb more since the last blog entry but I’ve stagnated. I purposely came off the diet to reset my metabolism over the easter weekend (the chocolate was an incentive to be honest), but have struggled to get back on it since. Not specifically because I can’t, because I know I can, however because situations have been such that they have made it difficult.

Really difficult? Probably not, but enough for me not to have the will power to get back on the wagon, yes.

So what was so difficult? There was a trip to Chessington world of Adventures on Friday… I wanted to go to the pizza/pasta place which also did salad, but my friend preferred the burger place and I went along with it. Was this her fault – absolutely not! It was mine – I could have resisted but it was easier not to.

Then yesterday, we had theatre tickets. Pre dinner meal – I told my hubby that I wanted to go somewhere diet friendly. He said he wanted a burger – I went along with it again. His fault? Nope – mine, for not standing my ground.

Today, we had an appointment and had one hour between that and going to see Avengers: Endgame to grab some food. Again, I suggested healthy, but hubby wanted McDonalds. So once again, I went with it. To be fair, I could have gone with one of the semi healthy options in McD’s but the truth is, I don’t really like them – so it was easier to say “sod it again.”

When I look back at all the times I’ve attempted to lose weight before (with the exception, of in 2003 when I cracked it and lost 5 stone), I’ve noticed a pattern. I hit the 2 stone loss and then something goes wrong and it goes back on, plus more and I’m back to square one having lost my motivation.

This time, i’ve gone into this aware of this fact. What has happened this month? What could be the cause of the loss of motivation? This time I have an answer. Despite my best efforts, my weight on the scales have not moved. I don’t know why. They just haven’t. Could this be why every time before I’ve quit? So this time I needed a game plan as I mentioned above. I planned, to not plan. If that makes sense? I planned to take the Easter weekend off and then get back on it. So why has this been so difficult?

So.. since last weekend, is it really a case of being pushed in the wrong direction or is it my dreaded 2 stone hurdle that I’ve hit? Or is it a bit of both?

I think that it is definitely a bit of both. So where do I go from here?

Failure can’t be an option for me this time. I have too much at stake – I want to get to goal for my daughter. I still desperately want to lose this weight.

So as of tomorrow morning I’m refocusing. I’m going back to basics. I’m going to remind myself of what I ate in January and attempt to recreate it… That’s where my focus has to be this week and thats my challenge.

Here I go – who’s with me?